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Thursday, November 13, 2008

To Keep an Abuser Away from your Children

Those of you who know me from the old covenspace, know that I have a very special little boy in my life. I knew his mother for more than 20 years and counted her among my best friends. I stood by her through thick and thin. I was there when she attempted suicide, I helped her when she didn't have food for herself or diapers for her children, and I gave her a place to live when she fled from an abusive relationship.

When it came time to return the favor, I moved in with her and her husband. It was then that I discovered that my friend, once the abused, had become an abuser herself. She abused drugs and alcohol, she abused her husband with several extramarital affairs, and ruined the lives of the men she slept with. Some of these soldiers were dishonorably discharged, and none of them knew she had an STD. But it wasn't until I discovered that she abused her children by slipping them sleeping pills so she didn't have to deal with them that my loyalties shifted.

I went to her husband with the truth and her response was yet another suicide attempt. I saved her life again by forcing the paramedics to take her away. While she was in a coma, her husband seized custody of K and initiated divorce proceedings.

He asked me to stay and help take care of K, who I had grown attached to; and when R went into a depression himself, I became mother, father, tooth fairy and Santa Claus to K. When they moved to Washington, R brought me along but I was always fearful that his mother M would return to take him away and ruin his life. I should note that M has at present 5 children by 5 different men, and only has custody of one of them.

I've been keeping a book for K for about three years now. In it, I've written down everything that happened so that he will one day know the truth. I've written down all the stories that I want him to remember...the time he turned the birthday cake over on the floor and ate it...what we did on x-mas...stories about the people in his adventures with his mother...etc...In addition I've recorded the spells and rituals I've performed on his behalf and have shared many of them with you all through my blogs and website.

Yesterday, I finally decided I would make the following entry and I decided to share it with you all and hope that you'll never have occasion to use it....

Dear K,

I really hesitate to add this entry because I dont' want you to hate me. More than I don't want you to hate me, I want you to be safe and grow up in a loving environment where you don't have to be scared that the people who are supposed to love you will hurt you.

I've decided that if I'm going to tell you the truth, I'm going to tell you the whole truth...

Every monday (mother) after the full moon for the past three years, I've anointed a photograph of your mother with vinegar and burned it in my cauldron along with the spell below to keep her away from you, scattering the ashes to the wind before the sun rises....

O blazing force

of elemental source

protect the boy that I hold dear

& keep his mother away from here!

Carolina Dean

1 comment:

Keith said...

You did the right thing. Imagine doing that to one's own children!

Personally, I think she's just out for attention. If she weren't, she'd try other, more effective ways of suicide. As Jerry says in his act on that one episode of Seinfeld: "If pills don't work, try a rope."