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Saturday, July 10, 2010


"Everything that exists, imagined itself into being."
------Sophie Anne, True Blood

For the last few days, I've been trying to change my negative thinking. My dominant thoughts centered around the idea that "My positive thoughts are powerful, my negative thoughts are weak." I thought that it would be hard to change, but honestly it hasn't. Maybe that's the secret in action? I also began telling myself over and over again that "I deserve love, and I want a real relationship!"

In addition to changing my thoughts, I have also change my actions. The past two days I've gone out of my way to go to one new place each day, because I doubt that I'm going to meet Mr. Right on my way from the bedroom to the living room, right? So, I'm thinking positively and I'm putting myself out there in the world. I will not even consider the possibility of failure.

The next step, I feel is to really define for myself what I want. The Secret says "To make a relationship work, focus on what you appreciate about the other person, and not your complaints. When you focus on the strengths, you will get more of them."

With that in mind, I sat down over a few days and compiled a list of qualities that I desire and admire in the perfect mate. They are:

  • masculine
  • intelligent
  • aggressive 
  • loving 
  • open-minded
  • attractive
  • laid-back
  • generous
  • Top
  • employed
  • romantic
  • car-owner
  • sense of humor
  • has own interests
  • athletic
  • spiritual 
  • genuine
  • reliable 
  • strong
  • confident
  • optimistic
  • dominant 
  • independant
  • clean
  • muscular
  • successful
  • thoughtful
  • honest 
  • healthy
  • funny
  • practical
  • energetic
  • considerate 
  • loyal 
  • brave
  • adventurous
  • respectful

This is just the beginning of my list, I'm sure that over-time I will think of more qualities. For now, my list stays on my love-altar as a reminder of what I really want and not to settle.

Another exercise suggested in the Secret is to "sit down and write out what you really want on a piece of paper. Write it in the present tense. You might begin by writing, 'I am so happy and grateful now that...' And then explain how you want your life to be."

With that in mind, I imagined my perfect life and this is what I wrote:

"I am so happy and grateful now that I have met and married the man of my dreams. He is everything I ever wanted in a man and more. We have a beautiful home and many friends. My husband is so successful in his career that I no longer have to work outside the home.  I am free to spend my days helping others through my spiritual practice, writing, taking care of our home, and him. I have never before been happier and more satisfied with my life. We travel all over the country, and abroad, several times a year. He has his interests which he pursues and I have my own. Despite our busy lives, we always make time for each other."

Carolina Dean 

The Secret, Rhonda Byrne
© 2006 pages 47, 115


Nicolette Wong said...

Hello Carolina

I've been a reader of your blog for a while - I'm from Hong Kong and practice some Hoodoo here.

Really appreciate these last couple posts on positive thinking. I'm going through some confusion/blocks in my career - these days I'm starting to work on clarity and direction too. Like you said, nothing would happen if one just stays in their shell. Once we put ourselves out there, we should only focus on the thought of success!

I have no doubt that a thoughtful soul like you with such a deep longing for love will find it.

Carolina Dean said...

Thanks so much Nicolette,

It is always so nice to hear from readers. Like I said in this post I haven't manifested any changes in the outside world, but positive thinking has done a world of good for my attitude and I feel much lighter and happier.

Things can only get better!