I was looking through my journals tonight for ideas, inspiration, etc.. to write a new blog for , my readers, today and I came across the following entry:
Tuesday 1/3/06- Today I met [name withheld] on I-26 and we began our journey across America leaving South Carolina and heading towards Washington State. We went through North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky and stopped in Illinois for the night.
Wednesday 1/4/06- Most of our day was taken up moving across Missouri. Traffic was horrible in St. Louis and Kansas City but I did see that big arch thing. We go a room in Iowa, an I didn't sleep too well.
Thursday 1/5/06- Today we moved across Iowa, South Dakota, and Wyoming. The traffic was light throughout but we had to make several stops due to sickness.
Friday 1/6/06- Montana, Idaho, and Washington--- We arrived around 10 p.m. and checked into a hotel.
So I realize that tomorrow is my five year anniversary of arriving in Oak Harbor. I look back and remember how scared I was. I was scared because I had to drive here following another person who was pulling a large boat. I was scared because I hate driving somewhere I've never been before. I was scared because I hate driving on the interstate. My mind was filled with all the things that could go wrong on our trip.
- What if my car breaks down?
- What if I have an accident?
- What if we run out of money?
- What if I get lost?
Also, I was scared because I didn't know what I would find waiting for me here. Would I be able to find a job? Would I make enough money to support myself?
I look back on that journey as a very fearful time for me. But I also think about all the good things that have occurred to me here. I've made some wonderful friends, I've seen some beautiful places, I've had some amazing experiences, and I've become a much more independent person.
Its true that I am a cautious person and my fear has often allowed me to prepare for the bad things that actually have happened in my life. I still find myself fearful of things that might happen, but I've learned to recognize my fear for what it is and how to cope with it.
Fear is a basic survival mechanism which takes the form of an emotional response to a perceived threat such as pain or the threat of danger. Fear often triggers a release of chemicals in the brain that cause an accelerated heart beat and shallow breathing also known as the fight or flight response.
A Chant to Conquer Fear
“Locked in place, frozen in fear,
my heart is pounding in my ears;
with every single breath I make
and every single step I take
I shall my deepest fear now face
till it cannot dwell within this place
and my fear shall pass me by
in the blinking of an eye!”