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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

To Absent Friends....

Since the publication of the Hoodoo Almanac, I have seen a huge increase in the number of emails, and facebook friend requests that I normally receive. I appreciate that many of you want to be my facebook friend and I am truly honored by the amount of faith and trust that you all have bestowed upon me as well as all the good will that my fans have directed towards me. If you want to be my friend because you like my writing, that's great, but I would also LOVE a thoughtful comment posted IN MY BLOG rather than simply liking the link on facebook. However, if you only want to be my friend in hopes of getting something for free out of me and not out of a genuine desire for friendship I would rather you simply subscribe to my public updates on facebook or like the Carolina Dean Fan Page until you reach a higher level of spiritual maturity. 

For years, I have done by best to help those who have come to me for assistance often doing work for free or very little compensation, traveling to sick clients who were not able to come to me, and even volunteering in our prison systems teaching Spiritualitiy to incarcerated seekers.  However, I have also wasted a great deal of my time answering emails and providing advice to those seeking {free} assistance only to have those same people disregard my advice and complain that nothing in their lives have changed (pssssttttt ...nothing has changed because YOU have not changed). In many cases, I spent hours writing very long, detailed emails in answer to people's situations only to never hear from them again.  This is one of the reasons that I instituted Mailbag Mondays...answering selected questions from my readers publicly in my blog in hopes that the information found in my answers would be of benefit to a greater number of people. 

In fact, I have spent so much time giving my attention to new "friends" that I have alienated many of my old friends and supporters and have not been what I consider a good friend to them in quite some time and to those of you whom this applies to I apologize and will try to be a better friend to you in the future. 

I have rarely, if ever, received an email from a fan or stranger asking me how I am or what they can do for me. There have been many times in my life where I did not know where my next meal was coming from, or cried myself to sleep because I was alone. In fact, there was a time when I considered taking my own life. I have my own problems and difficulties in life, however, I CHOOSE to focus on the good in my life rather than the bad and give my complete trust in a God who LOVES me and for this reason I have been very blessed. If you are my friend, if you want to be my friend, and you want to do something for me...then pray for me as I would for you.

For all my self-sacrifice I have had my name dragged through the mud. I have been labeled a Warlock by so-called Wiccans for sharing information, I have been labeled a "drag queen" (as if that is an insult) and a sexual predator for telling the truth about an incident in which I was the victim of sexual harassment by an individual who thought that I was a woman.  I have never claimed to be perfect. I have used my blog to share my successes as well as my failures. I have made mistakes, one of which was allowing myself to get into a public dispute with another individual only to apologize in order to maintain peace and move on with my life. However, some of the same people who publicly defamed me, referred to me in the feminine, and belittled my contributions to the magickal community turned around and joined my fan page as if they never said anything and expected me not to notice.

I DO NOT make my living as a spiritual worker so I am blessed in that I do not need your business. I have a full-time job in the non-magickal world and make more than enough money to cover my needs. I write because I ENJOY it. I make dolls because I ENJOY it. If I could I would give them away for free, but I can't. In fact, I have spent a large portion of my own money sending supplies to online friends and fans who were in need. A significant amount of my portion of the profits from The Hoodoo Almanac went to help send an underprivileged child to summer-camp as well. I am not revealing these things to you now seeking praise, but rather to paint a clearer picture of what I do with my time and how much of what I do is often a thankless task. 

That being said, I may come across as stern and possibly indifferent to some of those who have come to me (especially those who seem to think I owe them something because I write a blog or own a website.) Sometimes I hide behind humor and emails may go unanswered for days. But, I will tell you this. I have a great deal of compassion for you whether you realize it or not. My heart goes out to you because I've been there too. I cry for you because I have more love in me than I know what to do with...and I pray for you too. I don't want you to think you need another human being to have power in your life. I don't want you to believe in me, I want you to believe in yourself----because I believe in you. I believe in you because, I have been where you are now. I serve my community through the free exchange of information that, I hope, my readers will use to empower themselves so that you can have the love you desire, the good health you deserve, the prosperity that is yours for the asking, and all the good that is your birthright!

I never sought fame, I never set myself up as an expert in these matters, nor do I wish to be anyone's guru.  I DO NOT accept online clients and ONLY take clients who are in my immediate geographical vicinity and then I limit the number of active clients I have at any given time to a certain amount so that I can give them the attention they deserve. The only exception to this policy are those whose name goes on my healing altar as well as request from my online friends who wish me to pray or light a candle for their well-being in times of need. There are plenty of ethical workers out there who I am sure would welcome your business. It is not my desire to take work away from full-time workers who can better assist you.  If you are looking for an ethical worker, email me privately and I will provide you with the names and websites of a few workers whom I trust implicitly. I do not recommend them lightly as I have used them myself on occasion. 

Thank you for your understanding in these matters. 

Blessed Be and Happy Hoodooing! 

PS: If you get the reference I am alluding to in the title of this blog then you truly REALLY know me!


alexisaura said...

I will pray for you on saturdays.

alexisaura said...

I will pray for you on Saturdays!

Angelique X Stacy said...

Very well said Carolina Dean, I think it is great to state your boundaries and important for us to read and respect them. Some folks erroneously believe in this day and age that if you are writing publicly that somehow you belong to them and they can treat you anyway they choose and often like a reality star on television. I think it is very powerful how you state how you have compassion for those in their spiritual development. Thank you for your blogs!

Carolina Dean said...

I have compassion, but some of them still get on my nerves! LOL