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Monday, June 3, 2013

Mailbag Monday: A Curse for Incompetent Co-Workers

Dear Carolina Dean, 


I enjoyed your recent article on Prescriptive Bible Rites, and was wondering if you could help me. I work in an office environment in which we recently hired a new co-worker whom I will call Rose. Rose is not qualified to do the job for which she was hired. She makes a lot of mistakes and does not take responsibility for them but rather shifts the blame to others. To make matters worse, our boss treats her like a Princess and does not hold her as accountable for her mistakes as he does others in our office.

I was thinking about quitting my job but then I thought "why should I quit a job that I enjoy except for this one person?". I had planned on hot-footing Rose but then I decided to give bibliomancy a try. When I asked for the best method for dealing with Rose I received Psalm 89:39, which reads "Thou hast made void the covenant of thy servant: thou hast profaned his crown by casting it to the ground."

I must admit that I am at a loss as to how to interpret this message. Can you shed some light? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Signed,

Milton Waddams 

 Dear Milton, 

Thanks for your question. Reading the Psalm as given, the words that stand out to me are "profane his crown by casting it to the ground." What this says to me is that rather than hotfoot Rose out of the office, you need to knock that crown off her head (metaphorically speaking) and  rob her of her success

Therefore, my recommendation to you is that you should write Rose's name backwards on a piece of paper 13 times then cross and cover this with the word "FAILURE" across this in big, bold letters. Anoint the four-corners and center of the paper with Crossing Oil. If you have Rose's personal concerns (hair, nail clipping, etc..) place this in the center of the name-paper.  

Fold the paper away from you three times saying: "With God's blessings, just as I fold this paper away from me so may success turn away from Rose and all her works come to naught.  May her allies withdraw from her so that she alone is held accountable for her transgressions. May her path to success be blocked by failure until such time as she does right by those whom she has wronged.  In Jesus name. Amen."  Set the paper aside.

Take a purple-candle and butt, or flip it; then write Rose's name on the candle backwards. Anoint the candle with Crossing Oil by stroking the candle over Rose's name moving your finger away from you and saying:  "With God's blessings, as I stroke this candle away from me so may success turn away from Rose and all her works come to naught.  May her allies withdraw from her so that she alone is held accountable for her transgressions. May her path to success be blocked by failure until such time as she does right by those whom she has wronged.  In Jesus name. Amen."

Set the candle in a holder and place your petition underneath. Light the candle and say: "May the light of truth overcome the darkness of ignorance so that Rose's transgression are seen by those who have both the power and the inclination to make these wrongs right again. In Jesus' name. Amen"

Spend a few moments in prayer reciting Psalm 137:7-9. Where it states "daughter Babylon", insert Rose's full name. Pay particular attention to the last verse which states:  A blessing on the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rock! In this instance, remove the word "children" and replace it with the word "crown", (success). As you pray the Psalm, imagine a crown being ripped off Rose's head and broken against rocks (obstacles). 

Blessings, 

 

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